MY DEATH TRAP -2 ( not again !!!)

Starring : -Akshay aka HULK aka MEEEE ( as hero )
-2 eyed Freak aka Gottu [Supp role]
Director : Satan ( ya , its truely , himself :-s )
Producer : Evil eyed ppl around me , performing BLACK MAGIK wid aim to c my death :(( [ btw , cant name any one person ] ..
Story : Satan
Script writer : My fate
Clap shoot by : My fingers
Cinematographer : My bad Memory ( which has blue print of this movie )
Choreographer : Myself ( spontaneous )
Playback singer : Myself (spontaneous )
Stunts : Myself ( no visuals , evrythng NATURAL , amazing )
Editing : Jus one take , no re-shoots , no video , no editing
Publicity n marketing : Hulk n xanga n rediff n co .

FOR DETAILS ABOUT DEATH TRAP - PART 1 , CLICK HERE

No of scenes : 1
Location : By - lanes of ABIDS
Time : 9 am
Date : 22 dec . 2005
Situation : Comin back home after an early morning class on the FATEFUL BIKE .

Scene Rollin in :

After spending lot of days doin nothn but killing time by eatin a lot , playin basketball ,
watchin movies n shows , listening to music , goin out daily , readin books , i had my first
class today , after a long long time .( does it matter , if i say my first class was 2 days back,
but i didint get up n so never went :-s ) .... So the class was fun , was excited n stuff , wanted to come back home n revise n stuff ( ya i know i m shocked too ) ..

So as usual , i was on my bike , speeding off , wid 2 music ear plugs in my ears , playin
FOO FIGHTERS - MONKEY WRENCH .. i was on 70 ,( btw if u didn't know i m a very good n careful rider , except on some off days , when i hav ear plugs in my ears ) ... SO today was one such day :-s .. i wasn really careful today n was speedin up widout any
concern n screaming alon the lyrics loud out , scarin the hell out of ppl .....

The D- time had arrived .. the clock struck 9 ...All of a sudden water appears on the road in front of me , out of no where ( isn't this part of black magik :-? ) ...i Hav a split second to look at it .. speed reduces to 60 ...then the punk that i m , it occurs to me , LET's c what WILL HAPPEN if i jus give a Gentle BRUSH to the BRAKES wid my FINGERS .. N Lo i do it ..
The next thing i remember is , i m SLIDING ALON THE ROAD alon wid my BIKE , OBVIOUSLY NOT ON THE WHEELS , but on the SIDE BODY FRAME of the BIKE n MY KNEE ..i M still holdin on to the HANDLE .. so Sliding in Process ..2 secs over .Then all of a sudden i c SPARKS - One from the FRICTION b/w SIDE FRAME of BIKE n ROAD and the Second one from the Friction b/w MY KNEEE n the ROAD ( :-o :-o , can u blv it ) .. I m still sliding ...5 secs up .. Btw i m in the centre of the road .. I can c commuters goin on either side of the road , move past me n look at me strangely , Obviously at this new mode of transfer ..( a small sardar(sikh) boy was in fact wavin at me from behind his father's scooter :-s :-l ) .... k 8 secs up into it .. i m still sliding at a very good speed ...i started sliding almost at the start of the by- lane n now i was almost at the end of it .. still sliding .. 11 secs into it ...Come to the end of the lane .. now gotta go up-hill .. so finally it gives up ..so that was the 12 secs of Hell - roller coaster ride .. :-o

Now i m separated from my bike .. i can smell the part of trousers between my knee n
ground , which had to bare wid the sparks , it smells Like burnt .. What hell , its torn thr too ... Anyways , now ENTER Gottu ( whos has one eye beaten out from some fight 2 days back ) , hes the other character in this movie .. alon wid him many other ppl rush too .. they lift me up , ask me to sit n stuff .. i can hear 2 woman tok , " O ! what a poor guy , god saved him " , i m like thinking " Ya satan set up me " ..then 2 small boys come running n say "Autograph , Autograph !! plzzz plzzz .. MAst Acting Karela Baap , Camera camera kidar hai ??? " ( Please give me an autogrpah, sir, you are a great actor !!) .. i m saying this to myself " Ya i wish , ASHL " .. now Gottu , comes out n bashes these 2 guys sayin sumthng like this " Aye ya Shaane !! ** ** ** ***** ** .. nikal saalee ** " ( Common, u freak, get outta here !!!) .. Sumthng like that ..
all ppl go away now .. Gottu takes care of my bike ... n then helps me get up .. take me to a near by - HAND WATER PUMP , helps me wash the BLoddy Wounds ... n then v tok bout how his eyes got bulged out n stuff .....

So that was the Death trap - 2 (look up , for my Earlier DEATH TRAP- 1 )

Can u BLV IT , NOT EVEN A SINGLE SCRATCH ON MY BIKE , As USUAL ) ..

As far as me , I hav Multiple SMALL WOUNDS on Both PALMS , RIGHT ELBOW , BOTH KNEES , TOES .. Thats the thng ..

I think it was black magik bcos i hav already been unwell n sick for the past 2 days , n upon that this happ today :((

So one more Lesson for me .. From now on .. No SPEEDIN up .. No jerkin when on
Water .. No Punk stuff while driving .. :-s .. Lucky to b here ..

SMASH !! Aww my Palm hurts ...

Questions , questions and more questions ?????- Need answers

Answers, Answers n more asnwers is what all i require ,
in fact its the only thng i want …
ya answers for everything .. answers for something ,
answers for anything , answers for all the things …

Y does Australia always win matches .. ?
y do most of the people I meet lack morals … ?
y do emotions control most of peoples decisions ..?
y r people never honest with one another …?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want ..

y can’t i ever study from day one & read before the exams start ..?
y did Milind soman get laid at 17 , n Y Y Y did most of his friends at 15 only …?
y do People WASH DIRTY LINEN in PUBLIC.?
y do people give discriminate against one another …?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want ..

Y IS THIS WORLD SUCHHA BITCHHHHH !!! ?
y do i never go out on a holiday ….?
y DO People ALWAYS BOAST in front of others …?
y does SOMEONE always STAND up when Australian team is in DEEP SHYYT!!?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want ..

y DO People SHOW ATTITUDE to even CLOSE FRIENDS !!?
y do people think I kick evevryone’s ass …?
y DIDN’t NIRVANA perform LIVE in INDIA , more so for MEE EEE !!?
y don’t people ever SAY SORRY !! ?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y didn’t F1 come to HYD /INDIA …?
y do People think THEY are THE BEST ….?
y r so many people MEAN N SELFISH !! ?
y is COURTNEY LOVE suchha BITCH !!!?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y is FACE supposed to be INDEX of the mind, not true always ?
y do v still show attitude to a person we claim to like/love ?
y does SACHIN always get the BAD UMPIRING decisions .?
y am i NOT ALLOWED to have a DVD WRITER …. ?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y do all the good thngs i wanna do , turn into COMPLETE MESS ..?
y do people BACKBITE . so much …?
y r people never CANDID /OPEN /OUTSPOKEN …?
y dont i hav straight hair ….? or hair ?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y doesnt HONESTY win EVER !!?
y cant i be like DAVE GROHL ..?
y are women so beautiful ..?
y do hav they MATH in IIT EXAMS …?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y do people always BEHAVE like ANIMALS ….?
y do Hyderabadi people lack TRAFFIC SENSE …?
y don’t i hav friends like F.R.I.E.N.D.S….?
y do i still stay wid my parents …?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y do people always take ME for GRANTED, y do I allow …?
y is my MEMORY so CORRUPTED …?
y do i still use a P3 ..?
y do ppl always OVERREAD between the lines ?
ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i want …

y dont i hav an ELDER SISTER ..?
y r BEST n GOOD FRNDS never BEST/GOOD …?
y am i sulkin up in my college …?
Y DONT PPL UNDERSTAND ME , AM I THAT COMPLEX !!?????

ANSWERS , ANSWERS n MORE ANSWERS is what i wan …
ANSWERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ANSWERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is what i WANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN….

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

A 'typical' day planner !!!!

bi-dding - dang!!! da- duh - ddd - di - duu oo!! ...

well its that crazy time of the year , when teens hav no sleep , but still c NI8-MARES !!! well , at least i m tokin bout myself !!! ....no no its not valentines day yet , its jus EXAMS TIME !!!!! ....

yo ppl !! exams comin up , infact i hav an exam in another ,well lemme count 12 - 5 = 7 hrs , add to that another 10 hrs , well ya its 17 hrs !!! ... I HAV AN EXAM IN 17 hrs n I havent yet opened the book !!! ..Well , I HATE EXAGGERATING , EVEN A WEE -LIL BIT !!!! ... Wud it help , a lil , if i say its a PRACTICAL EXAM , n not a THEORY EXAM !!! Anyways , i dun c the difference !! ...The point is I HAV GOTTA CRAMM to the HILT NOW !!! ...lemme count how many of those 17 hrs will i hav at my dispense , i mean i m gonna chalk down my PLANNER HERE!!! Well no points for guessin , i hav no PDA , to prepare my schedule on it !!!!

the exact time in the clock beside DA HULK poster on my wall says 5 : 13 PM , so its already been 13 minutes since i hav been writin this crap !!! .. mayb i m gonna write for another 30 mins ... then i gotto publish all this on my blogs , another 15 mins .. the times 6 PM then ...then its time for regular BASKETBALL PRACTISE , so by the time i come back home it surely wud say 7: 45 PM .. then's the hot shower n stuff - its 8 : 30 PM , time for snacks (well i call my dinenr that ) ... 9 :15 pm , then i gotta tok n reply to the crazy AWAY messages i got from ppl on my IM's .. add 30 mins to it ... it shud be 9 : 45 PM , in between all this i hav to drop n pick my sis , add 20 mins , the clock shud say 10 : 05 pm !!! oh no!!! the JOEY download wud hav jus got over , time for some 'JOEYYY' ..... at the end of it its 10 :45 PM !!! Well , i never realized my parents were home like 3 hrs ago , i gtg n tell them HI ( at least now !!! ) , n ya u guessed it , they wud start scolding me now , count one hour , ya its almost 12 pm , n its midnight !!!! ...i gotta discuss wid my dad bout the new cell , i m gonna buy , another half an hour , 12 :30 pm ....

now i have to sit down to read .. ya .. 15 exp .. btw its been rainin heavily since 2 days ... the temp r STalk baddd .. too cold - hyd standards .... so howdya expect me to read more than 3 /4 exp .. ya i guess i wud fall asleep by 2 PM ... then the ni8 mare starts , well this is the sleepin ni8mare ..lol.. so iguess ishud be up by 4 pm .. well that leaves as lil time as one can get ....

thats the horrifyin Projected planner so far .... lets s how well i can beat up ma planner ...

damn its 5:29 PM ,, time for me to wrap this up here ... my planner duh!!! its forcin thngs on me !!!

will write in sooon , if i m still alive ...

Smash !!!

Battle of the hotties - Can it get any more hotter than this ?

The Battle of hotties is here today and IT CAN'T GET ANY HOTTER THAN THIS !!!!

I am not sure , you relaize what I am talking about, so lemme make it easier for ya. I m tokin bout the HOTTEST MATCH OF THE MILLENIUM - SM vs MS !!!!! whoa !!!!! well u muddheads , i m tokin bout SANIA MIRZA vs MARIA SHARAPOVA !!!! ......Hottt aint it ??/??

I luv both of them ...I am in a BIG FIX , who to cheer ?? can i be in a more perplexed situation than this ?? One is a cute , arrogant , hot , bitchy , loadsa attitude 18 year damsel n the other is cute , innocent , even more cuter n hotter , excellent game , tall 19 year babe !!!! Well , i hope u can understand my problem here !!!

The dream thng wud be the DOUBLES PAIRING OF SM n MS ...awwww!!!

Sania Mirza , the hyderabadi had a very week body , i meanshe gets injured a lot , but when she is fit she gives in her 100% and is a very aggressive player .. she has proved a lot of times before that she can defeat the best in the world ..she intimidates her opponents .. well comin to her negative aspects , she performs lotsa faults n unforced error n is not an agile runner ...Well a recent report said that shes the fastes mover in the WTA RATINGS , movin 234 places in last 12 months .. thats awesome for a record ...

well for Maria Sharapova , she has everythng good .. shes good in everythng ... flawless player .. a princess ... she doesn get carried away wid the laurels she has achieved so far for her multifalorous activities ...Shes born to win ...shes the no. 1 player n i wan her to win the title too ....

so i guess the Ultimate Hot Showdown is bout to take place today , in the Aurtut Ashe court today , n the ppl watchin it wud be the most luckiest ones ...Whoa!!! i m keenly lookin forward to it ...Gooo SM go .. GO MS go .....

Man it is definitely 'racing' to just think about them, guess it will get reallll hottt during the match........ you know i gotta go n do stuff now ;) ... later

My closest NEAR-TO -DEATH EXPERIENCE - 1

TIME 21:14
DATE Sunday , July 17 2005
PLACE Dark by-lanes of DILKSUKHNAGAR /Hyderabad
DRIVER me , who else !! gaaaah!!!!
CO-PASSENGER My sukka (thin) frnd , NITESH

Background before the incident : A streesed out day , completely tired , was jus waitin to go home n hit the bed as quickly as possible wid my new book ....

PREVIOUS RECORDS/FACTS : I am 19 years old now and I hav been driving/riding vehicles for almost 6 years now ...never once ( n i really mean it ) in all these good years ,hav i ever ,even fallen down from my bike/ cycle / etc .... so dont even thnk of me hittin sumone/ smashin into sumone / or sumone smashin into me / not even some small scratches on any of the vehicles i rode on ever ... n this has been my record for a lon lon time ............

CULPRIT(the real sukkaaaa) : A crazy little 8-10 year old tribal boy ( gaaaah!!!!! ) ..

THE D- INCIDENT -FIRST OF THREE (sob) : me n my suckaa frnd , nitesh r commuting on my bike , in the dark lanes of his ADDA , dilshuknagar ( lol) , , at a resonable speeed of 30 Kmph , i look up n c one or 2 street lights here and there , i feel wtf , who cares anyways !! so me back to driving n tokin stuff to the sukaa ...
I c a car hovering at full speed of about 50 kmph from inside the lane , occupyin even my side of the lane .... well i was thunderstruck momentarily , but havin been in such situations a zillion times , i emanated out of it immediately .... so i quickly move to the left side of the road ,only to c another freak walkin there .. i still adjust my handle n avoid crashin into him and the car ...'phew!!!! that was close'. i thght !! .. i jus thanked god again ... NEXT THING I REMEMBER IS THAT I AM DOWN ON THE ROAD , WID MY BIKE , N MY FRND !!! .. i look to the heaven , fearin GOD sent one of his LIGHTNING STREAKS TO BRING ME DOWN ...i jus c pleasant stars n clouds above ...i am shaken by a hand on my shoulder , n i look down , only to realise the scheme of things i was in ... i hear cries/ shouts .... everywhere ....I C THE KID DOWN ON THE GROUND , CRYIN SO LOUD , that ifeared i became DEAF !!! then i realise what happened actually , as soon as i crossed the car , a CRAZY KID CAME RUNNIN FROM BEHIND THE CAR , STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD , and WAS COUNTING HOW MANY TOES HE HAD !!!!! .. i was WTMF !!!!! .. how was i supposed to know the kid wanted to count the number of toes he had in the middle of the road , so I JUS KNOCKED HIM DOWN !!! ya ya .. tha twas what happ ... he had some small bruises n stuff ... n till now nitesh was arguin wid the people thr ,n wid me back to my consciousness now , i jus geared up myself wid a good fight wid the people ...after some intense arguments n stuff , i realise that all the people present there WERE SUPPORTING ME ( ya i was suprised too ) , except the kid's MOM/DAD/UNCLE/ UNCLE'S BROTHER/ UNCLE'S BROTHER'S WIFE / UNCLES'S ROTHER'S WIFE'S .... blah blah ...... So now these ppl , started showin us their full colours , TREAT THE KID AT THE HOSPITAL N ONLY THEN R U LEAVING !! .. i was WTF WTF WTF WTF !!! .. n we were fightin again ... n it went on and on and on .....not able to bear wid their cheap n menacing acting ,we had to fonally take the kid to a hospital n had to get the FIRST AID DONE !!! ... that was the end of MY ALMOST FIRST KILLLING !!

SECOND OF THREE INCIDENTS : i was takin an U-turn to go the other side of the road ..i c a red light on the other side , so no vehicles shud be comin from that side .. a bus already crossed the line ,bfor the lights changed to red , it still had a lot of distance to cover bfor it came near me , so i started takin the turn , n all of a sudden i c A BIKE OUT OF NO-WHERE sneak in between me n the bus n almost crash landin into me / bus ..... Awww !! man Already a victim of one accident that day ,i jus drove away without fightin wid that guy , when acc . to NITESH it was that guy's mistake ........

THIRD OF THREE INCIDENTS : so after tretin the sukkaa kid in the hospital n after washin the dirt of my wounds n afta droppin Nitesh at his place , when i was gettin back to my home , i c a bike in front of me tryin to do nasty stuff , so i hadta stop ABRUPTLY and SUDDENLY in the middle of the road ...the next moment i hear is THUD !! BOINKSS!! SCREECHH !!!! KIIIIAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AWWWWWWW W!!! n i was Like NOT AGAIN !!!!! ... n from the corner of my eye i look behind n i c 3 BIKES DOWN /5 PPL DOWN ......n i wait for sumone to come n beat me ...but what i c is those 5 ppl r hittin each other n i was like again WTF WTF !! .. i look up n continue the journey on my WORST-EVER DRIVING DAY !!!!

AFTERMATHS : A big dent in my long-standin record !!
3-4 bad bruises on my fore-arm/biceps
lost a 100 rs on the KID
broke the stand of my bike(firs time sumthn happ)
wasted an hour from a precious day
learnt a lesson

CONCLUSION : in the evening in a casual tok wid the sukka nitesh i mentioned him about my fabulous record of not hittin anythng so far .. n that sukka is an expert in cursing ppl ( most of the times what he says becomes true ) , n he said " Ruk re !! Aaj toh thu thokdega" ( "wait duh!! today u r gonna crash into sumone "!!) n alas ! it happened !!! .. that sukka , later i gave him a good trashin not to open his mouth again!!! .. well my record has finally been dented .. as they say there is a first time for everythng ... i hav finally experienced it .. the pain in my arms in back , i havta leave now .. been a lon lon mail .. in the next one i will slash upon all these tribal insane ppl .. lol.. tc. .. thnakfully NO ONE GOT KILLED !!

That WAS MY FIRST n HOPEFULLY LAST WORST-DRIVING DAY !

SMASH!!! THUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

kurt..who elsee