The last year gone down

I still remember the day I landed my first foot here
yes a year back, naive and a total novice....
I still remember the day I wrote my first anguish here
yes the "calm like a bomb...", nonchalant and numb now...

This one year away from the family and loved ones,
is one precious year taken away from my wicked life...
This one year full of academic and experienceable gains,
is still one wretched year added to my list of unrecoverable items...

Life teaches you they say, sure I am always learning..
you will meet new people, they say, sure I am a social animal...
you will leave the old people, the loved ones, they say not,
But yet quite ironically, they also say, Dream as if you'll live forever...

This last year, has given me so much time, enough time for me,
to wonder almost everything that I could never wonder about...
to spend every painstakingly long minute with myself, until I hated it...
to realize so many trivial things, to which I was totally oblivious till now.
Quarter-life-Crisis is what they claim this is, crisis is the only term that I understand !!!

Richer in experience, but still a novice is what I am relatively,
But I am not gullible enough to get lost in this rat race,
because this one year, has made me stop in my strides
and take notice of the things that matter most to me
and question the things that are taken for granted always
whether I am hitting the right stones, that only time can tell !!!

( or see this space in the future !!!)

Right now, I feel numb and it makes me act nonchalant.
I am Still Calm like a bomb, but only with hundreds of explosions inside...
I am Still a novice, but only that I am used to it now ...
But I sure am not naive, so do I think ...

Yet it is a year gone down ...

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

The 'ONE'.

where is 'the one' i seek...
Where is 'the one', i ask ...
where is 'the one' I am passionate about ?

passsion , zeal is what I want , I rant...
he asks, wats the thing with passion...
its all to do with the passion.... I say ..

the fire to achieve sumthing...
the fervor to learn anything..
she is 'the one' i am passionate about...
i don't get it, he says...

the excitement in doing small things...
the freedom in dreaming bigger things...
the nonchalance about who she is …
get it yet , dumbo? Nah !! , he wails…

the courage to think different …
the voice to make the crowd stare in awe…
no nonsense is the way she goes…
talk some English!! , he screams…

the motivation to stop me from being the fool I am …
the optimism to call shyt a fertilizer ..
the zeal to be just what she is…
and yet she is simple and on cloud 0..
that’s my gal , dood !!

I want to find her … This wait is too painful…
I want to fall in love with her… this anguish is too deep…
I want to snuggle into her…this heart is too fragile…
I want to bitch to her…this world is too bad and scary…
I hate and I fear finding place in the wrong arms yet again…

Eureka!! I understand he says …
Wake up, dream’s over boy!! He smirks…
Your alarm’s been barking for an hour, shouts he…
the clock says 15 mins past my class time…

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©