The Shyt Monologues -" would you have felt like this in India ? "

So, why are we always supposed to talk about the good things or the sad things, but not of the supposedly embarrassing things, things which are considered a taboo, the discomforting things....I have always been an un-conventionalist , I always do things the way they aren't supposed to be done. So here I am ,writing this blog, when I am supposed to be studying for my first midterm of this new spring semester....

Why today ? When I am supposed to be studying and its not like I write blogs everyday... well see I am unorthodox....well, it's because I was just shyting a while back.. Yup ! you heard me !!

So you know the topic I am going to write about today. It's what we do everyday( in some instances more than once ) and everybody I know and I don't know, does it and just not us human beings, every living being on Earth and maybe even the aliens do it. heck !! they do it too.. So why don't we ever talk about it. Well if you are still acting dumb and ignorant and hoping that, I am not going to talk about, what you think I am talking about, then sorry to disappoint you, but I am going to write about shytting today- the process of defecating or excreting , as I remember it from my 10th science textbook( or mayb even a lesser grade) . The thesaurus has got this to say-defecate, eject, eliminate, emanate, evacuate, exhale, expel, exudate, exude, give off, ejaculate( this one doesn't belong in here, lest I should be branded a retard, as if talking bout shyt wasn't enough), leak, pass, urinate,( Strangely I haven't got ideas about them yet)perspire, secrete, sweat, throw off, void ( i am never going to talk about it) ..produce ( what the heck is he talking about ?- Produce what Gold mines ?? )

Well, yup I was just taking a shyt ( Hell , when you can call it's sister, as 'taking a leak' ) a few minutes back in the school library ( Cut that sleazy expression off your face, I am not the first one to do it, remember the time you did it ... ) . Just then I felt so much at peace and in comfort ( well, yaa I am still in the public toilet). Next thing that came into my mind, " would I have felt like this in India ? , wait .. No .. wrong question .." would I have done it in India, in the first place " ...Well don't even think about it, the answer is a plain straight no. As a matter of fact, I am sure the shyt would itself get humiliated to grace the presence of a public toilet in India. And ya I am assuming the public toilets haven't changed much in India in the last 7 months, Hell I am pretty sure it wouldn't change for the next .. well . lets get practical , they won't ever change in India..... No offense meant though. It is just not " socially /economically " ( whatever that means ) possible in India....I still love India /hyd for what it is.. I misssssss...

So then my mind traversed to " what are the 10 best things I like in AMRIKA ( America)" ( Yup I was still shytting !! ) ....The first thing, undoubtedly was " taking a shyt in a public toilet and feeling so comfortable and totally at peace doing it " ...Next I thought of all the other things, that are noteworthy about America ( will leave it for the next blog - U know it means never, acc. to my lingo , but anyways lets see) ... Then my mind was thinking about how I should so totally write a blog the moment I come out ... so here I am doing that ...( of course after washing up :-p ) ....

I was thinking next about the things that people here do when they are sitting on the pot ( of course the public toilets ) .

1. I understand the American's die hard love for Coke ( I am talking about the drink, this time) , but common, how do you shyt while you drink or drink while you shyt ...I am sure there are people out there, who drink milk while shytting too.. Gold help the cows !!! ...

2. Even worse, I have seen people take cookies inside along with them and Pizza boxes .. Holy moly !! what the heck , people.. are you out of sides or whippings ??

3. Newspapers , Books , Sudokus , etc - Guys there is a reason why they provide tissues in there .( Yup this is not India !! ) ..

4. Back packs ...bags , etc - Someone is getting a "surprise surprise" delivery tonight ha !!

well then my mind was like please stop thinking this now. I felt losing out the comfortable feeling I was having until then.

So I started thinking of how in countries like India, Pakistan and most of the Muslim nations, taking a shyt is similar to sex . Well I guess you have reached your saturation point with me and my blog about shyt ha ? I understand, because I have very very very .. high regards for sex too, just like you. But see if I am thinking wrong. In India, for example 'talking about sex is such a big taboo" . and the same assumption still continues, I am sure India hasn't changed much in the last 7 months. Similarly, talking about Shyt too is a big taboo. There I found a similarity and I lost all my peace and the comfort I was having. So finally I got up from the pot and you know the rest .... :-d

Well I would like to close off on a serious point. It definitely helps to know you have a second home, in case of emergency :-d. ( and as good as your home ) . I swear I never felt like that once in my 21 years spent in India. Dammit ! I never even felt at home even when I was in my relatives places, friends places, or for that matter even in ITC VIP suite , toilet. That used to be one of my biggest nightmares and only reason ( in addition to no money ), that I would think of, for not traveling in India. But still I did cover most part of India, except the East , Kerala and UP ...
But now I wake up every morning here in America, with this one comforting feeling, irrespective of my grades and working like a pig , that I know I won't feel that discomfort or rather my shyt won't feel bad ..... GOD BLESS AMRIKA :-p..

Hell that was a serious one .:-p. Now the real serious point. Live your life, the way you want to. Don't let it be affected by what others think. You are free to talk , what you want and write what you want, I would have added a clause if I was in India, saying, "until you don't hurt others feelings/sentiments". But a strange thing about this amrika is there is no such clause in here !! [:d] ..

In any case don't think twice if you havta call a spade ,a spade , or a shyt , a shyt !!!

I better catch up with my midterm now, lest I would be shat all over in the exam.

And remember the power is yours ( Of course, your fire, your shyt, your power ;) ) -Captain Planet istyyle...

Tangible Assets !!

I am real, you are fake.
The Ego is real, the attitude is fake.
The beard is real, the smile is fake.
The Sun is real , the green here is fake.

The effort is real, the result is fake.
The pain is real, the comfort is fake.
The mind is real, the beauty is fake.
The Lust is real, the love is fake.

Silicon is real, Silicones are fake ;)
Passions are real, Occupations are fake.
Acquisition is real , competition is fake.
Market is real , school is fake.

Time is real, money is fake.
Eco system is real, Home-Systems are fake.
The thoughts are real , actions are fake.
Foes are real, friends are fake.

War is real , peace is fake.
Solitude is real, company is fake.
Ex-es are real , GFs are fake.
Name is real , fame is fake.

Poverty is real, wealth is fake.
Corruption is real, philanthropy is fake.
Eccentric is real , Conventional is fake.

Science is real , GoD is ....well, Reallllll !!!

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